you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize