last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
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You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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