1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
