Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
