is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
