I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
