so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
