yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
