Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
