I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Randomize
