I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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