I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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