She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
