When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize