You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
