If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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