I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
