Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
