I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
