no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
