New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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