THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
