she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize