More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
