True but thats because hes a fetus.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
