yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
