Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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