ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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