3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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