my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
