oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
