remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
