Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
