therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
either way he was missing a nipple.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
