On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
