he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
