It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
