I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
