make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
