saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
