Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
