think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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