did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize