Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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