she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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