So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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