I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
