Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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