I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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