i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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