i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
