I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
