This girl is more easily done than said...
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
