I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
