The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
