I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
tell me about the eggs
Randomize