I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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