As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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