I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
