Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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