I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
