It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
