everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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