She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize